Die La

kereta eksiden. masuk bengkel sampai hujung bulan depan. sekarang baru tengah bulan. kaki patah wehhh.
ada la seorang dua boleh tolong nak pinjamkan kereta. tak mintak pun tapi diorang yg offer. bila aku and ender dah mengharap, buat macam tak tahu apa2 pulak. sakitnya hati tuhan jela yg tahu.
then mula la terpikir, susah nak jumpa kawan yg boleh tolong time susah. ini salah satu tandanya.
tak nak jalan pagi2 buta pergi bus stop dari rumah aku ni. gelap, lampu jalan takde. nanti tak pasal2 aku kena culik lagi naya.
ohhh hati. bertabahlah. tak perlu pikirkan apa yg diorang buat kat ko. ambik iktibar. hopefully diorang takkan kena macam ko kena. sebab memang tak la ko nak tolong lepas ni kan. huh!


p/s: istighfar mya istighfar..

Selamat Bertunang Itik!

we've been friends for over 10 years. we laugh (really hard) together, we cried together, we share our problems together over a decade long, and we hardly not seeing each other eventhough we've been busy doing our own businesses. marriage and having children, is another steps of life we'll be facing (inshaallah) but you and me, we'll always be that same friends. stay with me until death do us apart, alright?

Happy Engagement Day Norsaedah! i wish nothing but the best for your life, now and then, forever. may destiny always follows what your heart desire. amin!

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives,
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25,
I keep thinking times will never change,
Keep on thinking things will always be the same,
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back,
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track,
And if you got something that you need to say,
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day,
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down,
These memories are playing like a film without sound,
And I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didn't know much of love,
But it came too soon,
And there was me and you,
And then we got real blue,
Stay at home talking on the telephone,
And we would get so excited and we'd get so scared,
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair. 

So if we get the big jobs,
And we make the big money,
When we look back now,
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule,
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye,
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly.

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end,
And suddenly it's like we're women and men,
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town,
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye,
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still be friends forever.

P/s: this song never fails to make me shed a tear.

Room

quiet an interesting story this book. bila aku baca apa2 novel pun, aku cuba letak diri aku kat tempat watak2 dia. and melalui novel ni, aku cuba bayangkan apa aku akan buat kalau aku kena culik and dikurung dalam satu bilik selama tujuh tahun. lepas tu, ada anak dengan orang yg culik aku yg aku benci gila tu. paling aku akan kesalkan, aku dah sia2kan hidup aku selama tujuh tahun disebabkan tindakan orang lain yg macam shit tu. oh my. emo pulak aku.


p/s: best jugak baca. sedih mengenangkan nasib mak Jack. sob sob.

Oh My Ender..

sebagai manusia biasa, aku sangat mudah tertarik terhadap kecantikan. kalau aku sebagai perempuan pun mudah tertarik kepada kecantikan, apatah lagi terhadap kehenseman. tak gitu? nak nak kalau aku ternampak seorang pelakon hensem dalam movie ke drama. huihhh.. aku boleh gila bayang kot. dah la time tu aku masih tak punya siapa2 untuk dirindui. memang tak boleh aku nak komen banyak. sebagai contoh, aku pernah obses dengan daniel radcliffe aka harry potter! tapi takde la sampai part nak lukis tatoo kat badan ngan muka dia kan. aku masih waras.

soooo, blog ni aku nak dedikasikan kepada seseorang yang aku anggap sangat sangattttt istimewa!

mata dia.. ish!

tak kenal dia? kejap..

muka serius dia buat aku tergoda beb!

tak kenal jugak? maksudnya korang tak tengok movie dia la tu. Ender's Game. kalau korang kaki wayang mesti korang familiar. tahun ni umur budak ni baru 16 tahun. pangkat anak ikan je la jawabnya. at least daniel radcliffe baya aku. anak ikan pun anak ikan la.. dah lama aku tak tergoda dengan muka hensem nih!

tak tau kenapa aku suka sangat kat budak ni. nak kata aku kesunyian, tak la kot. maybe sebab dia comel sangat agaknya. sumpah aku jatuh cinta kali kedua! sory EncikMistik!

dalam merlin as modred

nak suruh EncikMistik bagi aku anak muka sebijik macam makhluk ni!

aku gila bayang! yeah! peduli apa dia kenal aku ke tak. cinta itu buta la weh!

p/s: even untuk EncikMistik pun aku tak pernah buat dedication macam ni. haha! oh enderku..

Love is easy you see

Today I'm laughing the clouds away,
I hear what the flowers say,
And drink every drop of rain,
And I see places that I have been,
In ways that I've never seen,
My side of the grass is green. 

Do you feel the way that i do?
Do i turn your grey skies blue,
And make dirty streets look new,
And the birds sing,
Now i know exactly what they mean. 

If this is love, then love is easy,
It's the easiest thing to do,
If this is love, then love completes me,
Cause it feels like I've been missing you,
A simple equation,
With no complications to leave you confused.
If this is love,
It's the easiest thing to do.

P/s: Love aku penuh dengan drama. Macam mana pulak? Kesian dia.

I'm Back!

sejak2 jadi seorang suri rumah yang berjaya tanpa kerjaya ni, fikiran aku menerawang entah ke mana. risaukan keputusan final exam aku dalam hujung bulan ni, risaukan kehidupan tak berduit aku sebabkan anggur yang aku tanam tak jugak berbuah sejak beberapa minggu yang lepas, risaukan hala tuju aku lepas ni, semua la. so, andai tak main candy crush, aku beralih ke minion rush. penat main minion rush, aku gi cek pou aku, cukup makan ke tidak, cukup tidur tak, nak dibawa bermain bola ke tak. agak busy sebenarnya. tu belum campur dengan kerja2 suri rumah yang mak aku amanahkan kat aku lagi tu. adeh.

tapi, habis je buat semua tu, tv dah takde rancangan best untuk disiarkan, pe lagi patut aku buat nih?

okay, baca buku. bukan buku ilmiah pun. just novel2 biasa yang mengaktifkan semula otak kanan aku. then aku mula belayar semula ke dunia beberapa tahun sebelum aku menjadi seorang gadis tanpa kerjaya, ketika aku masih seorang budak biasa yang risaukan spm aku lagi empat lima tahun.

aku minat menulis. aku nak jadi seorang penulis. nak buat novel bestseller biar orang2 kat luar tu baca karya aku. ya, aku nak jadi novelist. yes!

then aku sedar balik. oh, tahun 2013 rupanya. da balik ke alam realiti aku ni.

boleh ke aku realisasikan impian aku yang keanak-anakan ni? macam susah je..

Hectic indeed!

oh my oh my.. lately had been some hectic days for me. masalah kat tempat kerja, masalah assignment tak siap2. okey sekarang assignment dah siap. sebab tu berani terjah blog kejap. kalau tak, memang aku tak terizinkan nak pandang pun.

haaa masalah tempat kerja? panas weh panas!!!! tak ku sangka cempedak menjadi nangka. yang manis rupanya busuk. yang baik rupanya setan. dan bermacam2 lagi la. yup memang bengang bila benda jadi macam tu tapi aku tak mampu nak buat apa2. berserah dan berserah. everything happen for a reason. yes memang dah terbukti pun. at least aku nampak orang lain yang mungkin boleh jadi seseorang yang tak hipokrit. terima kasih korang. and fuck kepada setan tiga orang tu. buat sakit hati doh! membazir air mata aku je. huh! kesian la laki and keturunan korang. (hurm. jahat gak mulut aku. kikiki!)

ok lah. assignment dah settle. masalah dah terluah.. nak buat apa lagi ek.. ok la nak tido! haha! moh la kite sume tido wehhhh!

Birthday man

"Selamat ulang tahun sayang.."

Wish you all the best for your life dear. May you have all the best things in life. Keep strong. Be brave. Never give up. Someone will always be behind you, that is me.

I don't have anything fancy as a gift. But you got me! Your cute little honey!(bluek!)


P/s: Love you!

Where Rainbows End

Sob sob..

Just finished reading this novel. So touching indeed!

About best friends who keep being separated for years and how they lost all the time they were supposed to spent together. So next time my dear Alex! Be bold! You're a guy! If you become brave at that time, I wouldn't cry so much right now!

This story teaches me a lot. No matter what happen, don't let anyone stops you from doing what you want! You wouldn't know what you're going to miss, ever.

So Mya, belajar rajin2 lepas ni. Tak kira la apa yg terjadi. And please clear up your head. Say out loud what you want to say. Alright dear?


P/s: The girl you left behind.

Another year..

28 Jan 2013..
Another year for me and him. It has been four years for us.

How does it feels when you can't explain what's so special about that someone? When you constantly fight with him but never really wanted to leave him no matter what slipped out of your tongue? When you never bothered how many times he comes around you? When you never feel the slightest boredom attacked you for the sight of him everyday?

Well that my friend, would I call "The One".


P/s: As long as you love me..

We're gonna miss you..

-2008-
Kerja dekat McD. Kenal dengan ramai orang. Termasuk Ezam. He got dimple on his right cheek. He looks so sweet.
After I broke up with my previous boyfriend, he came to me. Offering me his love. I accept his. However, I feel that he's not the one for me. So we broke up 10 days after that. I'm sorry Ezam..

-2012-
Finally, Ezam settling down, with his long life girlfriend after me and which he loved before me as well. They promised to bind their life together on December 12th. I couldn't come to their perfect day. But I wish them both the best of life.

-2013-
January 20th, all of us were shocked to hear that he was caught in an accident. At first I thought it was just a little accident. But when Ash called and told me the news, I can't quite believe what I heard. He was gone. At such a young age, he leave us all without any warning.

Ezam, I might not know everything about you. But your smile is still lingering in my mind, the sweetness of it. I still couldn't believe what I heard. Al-fatihah..

Susie, eventhough I never knew you, I can feel how are you feeling right now. It must be hard for you to lose your husband in a blink, while your fingers' still red with wedding henna. All I could offer is my condolences, be strong. As a woman, I understand what you're going through right now. But I know it wasn't the same, berat mata melihat, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.

Sampai sekarang aku still tak boleh terima berita ni. And I just couldn't accept what I heard yesterday.


P/s: "Ketawa bersama, menangis bersama, ku bersumpah harap kita mati pun bersama,"
Sumpah sepasang suami isteri, harap jodoh kekal sehingga ke syurga. Tapi tiada siapa dapat menduga selama mana jodoh di dunia akan kita lalui. Mungkin kita bersama 50 tahun, mungkin hanya 50 hari, siapa tahu.
Berpegang pada cinta tuhan, kekal sepanjang zaman. Redha pada qada' dan qadar, inshaa Allah, semuanya akan dipermudahkan.

Learn to appreciate what we have before we lose it forever. :'(

My All

I am thinking of you in my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through without you by my side

I'd give my all to have just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight 

Baby can you feel me imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight

Well, that's pretty much of everything I feel right now. Despite of everything that's happening around me. Oh well, life must go on. Am I right people?


P/s: Rindu entry baru Incik Zack! And Mat Luthfi, you're the best!

2013! They say we're not going to make it!

eh eh ehhhh! SELAMAT TAHUN BARU yang ke 2013 wehhhhh!
(mase maal hijrah tak nak pulak jerit gitu kan. *kate mereka yang tak puas hati)

so sekarang dah tahun baru. umur dah meningkat, tanggungjawab makin banyak, hutang pun melambak. haizzz.

 so mya. apa pulak azam ko tahun ni?
 satu je. nak kahwin! ekeke!
 gatal!
 elakkan maksiat wehhh..

so hows work? okay la kot. kerja apa yang tak dilanda masalah kan? kena tenang lah.. tapi kadang2 tu bengang jugak. biasalah. aku hanya wanita biasa.

aku dah plan nak sambung degree kat OUM. hopefully aku dapat lah habiskan study aku kat situ nanti. amin..


p/s: tak tahu nak celoteh apa lagi. just nak make sure ada at least satu entry untuk januari 2013 ni. hehe..

Love, or what?

dalam dilema. nak putuskan or teruskan?

kalau teruskan, aku tak sanggup nak tertanya-tanya lagi sampai ke mana arah tuju kitorang. kalau putuskan, mampu ke aku hidup dengan orang lain, dan bukan dia?

love is stupid sometimes. why you, love, have to come and go? can't you just stay where you belong?


p/s: teringin sangat! ya Allah, kabulkan la doaku ni. amin!

I won't give up!

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold 

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it 

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use 

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am 

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up.

P/s: Now I'm wondering whether I can still keep this promise I gave you. Why it has to be so hard between us?

Distance

The sun is filling up the room and I can hear you dreaming
Do you feel the way I do, right now?
I wish we would just give up
'Cause the best part is falling
Call it anything but love 

Please don't stand so close to me
I'm having trouble breathing
I'm afraid of what you'll see right now
I'll give you everything I am
All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand 

And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
And how long can we keep this up, up, up? 

And I keep waiting for you to take me
You keep waiting to say what we have 

And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" when you're not listening
How long till we call this love, love, love?

P/s: I love you. Will you hear that?

What's on my mind?

one of my best friend, holwatun, dah nikah semalam. esok majlis dia. haih, serius aku tak sangka, and aku still rasa macam tak percaya yang dia dah kahwin weh. sumpah rasa macam tak percaya. cepatnya masa berlalu. rasa macam baru seminggu lepas kitorang habis spm kot.

jealous tak aku? of course! rasa jealous gila! tapi bukan dengki kay. aku tekankan kat sini jealous je bukan dengki. jealous kenapa? sebab aku tak sampai seru lagi kot. tapi apakan dayaku, ketentuan tuhan kan. sabar je la dulu. lagipun member2 lain, saedah, shakira, nabila, aqilah, faezah, atin, sakinah, syazwani, takde seorang pun di antara kitorang yg kahwin lagi. so, what's the fuss about mya? aku tak nak terus buat dosa la!

hurm, aku nak share satu benda kat sini. aku suka buat innocent bila kakak2 kat tempat kerja aku mula sembang kias2 pasal benda dalam kain. paham tak paham tak? well, i think that technique is no longer working. but then, what should i do? join diorang sembang sekali? karang kata aku macam2 lagi ada la. tapi serious, kadang2 aku memang tak boleh nak tangkap maksud diorang. terlalu mendalam. and kalau aku rasa macam da malas sangat nak layan diorang, aku buat pekak je. pastu kata menyampah sebab aku buat2 innocent. what the heck? aku tak dengar la time tu! tapi aku diam je la. malas nak bertekak. kena hormat mereka sebagai kakak2 yg dah banyak tolong aku masa kerja, and dah banyak bergelak tawa dengan aku masa aku tak berapa nak happy. kadang2 rasa bengang jugak bila diorang perlekeh "budak2" macam aku ni. but then again, what can i do? bersabar je la. cuma satu, tak suka bila diorang mula tanya hal2 agama hanya sebabkan aku tanya raya haji dengan raya korban tu perayaan yang sama ke tak. okay, i admit that was my bad. tertanya pulak depan orang non-muslim yg tahu pasal ni. budak muda zaman sekarang macam aku yg free hair ni, mana lah nak tahu hal agama kan. but you don't have to be so judgemental on that am i right? hanya sebabkan satu jenis perayaan yg diraikan sekali, you guys mula nak assume macam2? that was not right.

p/s: lepaskan perasaan! harghhhhhh!

Waiting..

One of my bff is about to get married this November. Happy for her. But at the same time, I pity myself. When will my turn come?

Hol.. Selamat bertunang weh. Siapa sangka kan, kau yg akan kahwin dulu. Alhamdulillah.. =)

P/s: Tak pernah habis bergaduh lagi dengan dia pasal bila nak kahwin. Hati sangat2 bercelaru rasanya.

Past and present.

berapa umur aku sekarang? hurm, yup. dah makin menua. adoy la! bila ada orang nak masuk minang aku ni? aku tak nak nanti orang tengok aku ngan anak aku macam nenek and cucu je. huwaaaaaa!

kerja kat ambank hari tu sepatutnya jadi antara pengalaman aku yang paling best. however, it turns out to be a nightmare. masa training je seronok. the rest, macam siot. aku respect gila orang yg boleh bertahan kerja kat bank ni but at the same time aku rasa kesian, kesian yg amat sangat. and majority of them yg aku kenal, berlagak and pandang rendah kat orang lain. note again okay, majority! not all of them. karang tak pasal2 ada je yg nak hentam aku.

sekarang, aku dapat kerja baru. cabaran tu tetap ada. tapi sekurang-kurangnya aku tak risau sepanjang masa, aku rasa happy compare dengan kerja sebelum ni, and aku ikhlas nak datang kerja. soal gaji? lebih kurang je kot. tapi work loaded dia amat berbeza. yg paling penting sekali keikhlasan nak datang kerja tu perlu ada. kan?

buat apa keep whining benda yg dah lepas kan? but seriously, bila aku teringat layanan yg aku pernah dapat dulu, aku meroyan kejap. haha! takpe la, asalkan aku tak keep bragging about it all the time. kadang2 je pun. =P

p/s: i miss them, a lot!

beLATEd birthday!

eh ehhhhh.. sekarang dah bulan 6 dah kan? omaigod omaigoddd!!! aku terlepas pulak nak buat entry untuk birthday aku yg dah lepas hari tu. kelewatan 2 bulan ni bikkkkk. haiz.. tu la. busy sangat kerja. *perasan!

tapi.. tak ada yg special pun untuk birthday aku tahun ni. perlu aku akui, aku dengan dia agak kesempitan. dia ditimpa musibah, aku pulak tak banyak membantu. mulanya aku hampir give up. tapi, aku tak sanggup nak tinggalkan dia. itu bukan aku okay. he's the one for me, only one!

what he gave me for my birthday? just a simple card, and a memorable day for me to remember. hmm :-)))

p/s : aku mohon sangat2 tuhan jauhkan dia dari segala keburukan. aku tak nak buat keputusan yg akan aku sesali nanti. aku tak nak keadaan memaksa aku. aku tak nak. aku tak sanggup laluinya.